WHAT FLOATS YOUR BOAT?

Rediscovering what makes you happy, excited and glad to be alive.

What do you actually enjoy?

It sounds like such a simple question, doesn't it?

What do you enjoy doing?

What makes you happy?

What gets you excited?

What makes you lose track of time?

And yet, for some people, these questions are surprisingly difficult to answer.

We're often very good at telling people what we have to do.

Work.

Look after the children.

Pay the bills.

Keep the house running.

Exercise.

Cook dinner.

Walk the dog.

Sort out the never-ending pile of life admin.

But ask someone what they genuinely love doing, simply for the pleasure of it, and sometimes there's a rather long pause.

“Well, I used to enjoy…”

“I haven't done that for years.”

“I don't really have time for hobbies.”

“I'm not sure, actually.”

And that's interesting.

Because surely part of living well is knowing what makes life enjoyable for you?

Not what you think you should enjoy.

Not what looks impressive.

Not what other people like.

What actually floats your boat?

When did we stop asking ourselves?

As children, we tend to have a fairly straightforward relationship with enjoyment.

We like what we like.

We might spend hours drawing, dancing, building things, playing sport, dressing up, exploring outdoors or making up ridiculous games.

We don't necessarily ask whether we're good at it.

We don't wonder whether it will improve our CV.

And we certainly don't feel obliged to justify how productive we've been.

We simply enjoy ourselves.

Then adulthood arrives.

And with it comes responsibility.

Careers, relationships, children, mortgages, family commitments and all the practical demands of everyday life.

Gradually, the things we love doing can slip further down the list.

Not because we've stopped enjoying them.

But because other things have taken priority.

And sometimes those priorities continue for so long that we forget what we used to enjoy in the first place.

Have you stopped loving something, or have you simply stopped making room for it?

The difference between pleasure and fulfilment

Here's something worth exploring.

Not everything we enjoy gives us the same kind of satisfaction.

Some things offer immediate pleasure.

A delicious meal.

A funny film.

A glass of wine with friends.

A lovely hot bath.

A lazy afternoon in the sunshine.

Other things offer a deeper sense of fulfilment.

Learning a language.

Creating something.

Helping somebody.

Improving at a sport.

Volunteering.

Working towards a meaningful goal.

And sometimes the two overlap.

You might love playing tennis because it's fun, challenging, sociable and gives you a sense of achievement.

You might enjoy gardening because you find it peaceful, creative and satisfying.

You might love cooking because it allows you to experiment, nurture people and share something enjoyable.

There's no requirement that everything you do should have a deeper purpose.

Some things are worth doing simply because you enjoy them.

But understanding the different kinds of satisfaction we get from activities can help us recognise what's missing from our lives.

Perhaps you have plenty of relaxation but very little excitement.

Perhaps you're achieving lots but rarely having fun.

Perhaps your life is sociable but you're craving time alone.

Or perhaps you have plenty to do but very little that feels personally meaningful.

What makes you feel most like yourself?

Think about the moments when you feel completely comfortable being you.

Not performing.

Not trying to impress anybody.

Not meeting expectations.

Not fulfilling a particular role.

Just being yourself.

Where are you?

What are you doing?

Who are you with?

Perhaps you're outside walking in the countryside.

Perhaps you're dancing to music you love.

Perhaps you're playing a competitive game of pickleball.

Perhaps you're sitting with a book.

Perhaps you're surrounded by friends, laughing until your stomach hurts.

Perhaps you're painting, writing, singing, gardening or pottering around an antiques shop.

Or perhaps you're happiest in the kitchen, trying out a new recipe with absolutely no guarantee that anybody will want to eat it.

These moments can tell us something important about who we are.

The things that make us feel most alive often reveal something about what we value.

You don't have to be good at it

This is a particularly important one.

As adults, we can become terribly concerned with competence.

If we're going to do something, we want to be good at it.

If we take up a sport, we want to improve.

If we paint, we want the result to look impressive.

If we sing, we worry about being out of tune.

If we dance, we wonder what other people think.

And if we're not naturally talented, we sometimes decide there's no point.

But why?

Why can't we enjoy doing something we're absolutely hopeless at?

You can love singing and have a terrible voice.

You can enjoy tennis without ever winning a match.

You can paint something that looks nothing like the thing you intended.

You can dance enthusiastically and completely out of time.

And you can still have a wonderful time.

Enjoyment isn't something you have to earn by being good enough.

Sometimes being a beginner, making mistakes and laughing at ourselves is part of the pleasure.

What did you love before life got so busy?

Here's a little exercise.

Think back to your childhood, teenage years or early adulthood.

What did you love doing?

Not necessarily what you were best at.

What did you choose to do when nobody was telling you what to do?

Did you love music?

Sport?

Animals?

Being outdoors?

Reading?

Writing?

Making things?

Dressing up?

Performing?

Cooking?

Exploring new places?

Spending time with friends?

Learning about particular subjects?

Now ask yourself:

How much of that is still present in your life?

Perhaps some interests have naturally disappeared because you've changed.

That's perfectly normal.

But perhaps there are things you still love that have simply been buried beneath years of responsibility.

And perhaps it's time to dig one or two of them out again.

What if you don't know what you enjoy any more?

This can happen.

Particularly after a long period of caring for other people, working intensely, dealing with illness, experiencing relationship changes or simply being overwhelmed by everyday life.

You may have become so accustomed to responding to other people's needs that you've lost touch with your own preferences.

You know what your children like doing.

What your partner enjoys.

What your friends want to do.

But what about you?

Perhaps when somebody asks where you'd like to go or what you'd like to do, your automatic response is:

“Oh, I don't mind.”

And maybe you genuinely don't.

But if you always defer to everybody else's preferences, you can gradually stop noticing your own.

The good news is that you don't have to discover some grand passion overnight.

You can start with curiosity.

What sounds interesting?

What have you always fancied trying?

What do you enjoy watching other people do?

What makes you think, “I'd quite like a go at that”?

Sometimes enjoyment needs a little experimentation.

You don't have to know exactly what floats your boat before you're allowed to set sail.

The danger of living somebody else's idea of a good life

We absorb all sorts of messages about what we should enjoy.

Successful people should be ambitious.

Healthy people should love exercise.

Interesting people should travel.

Cultured people should enjoy art galleries and theatre.

Sociable people should love parties.

And apparently, everyone should have a passion for hiking, cold-water swimming or making sourdough bread.

But what if you don't?

What if your idea of heaven is an afternoon gardening?

What if you hate travelling?

What if you love being alone?

What if you'd rather play a board game than go to a glamorous party?

What if you genuinely enjoy watching television?

There's nothing wrong with any of those preferences.

The important thing is whether they're yours.

A fulfilling life doesn't have to look impressive to anybody else.

You don't need to justify what you enjoy.

And you certainly don't need to adopt somebody else's hobbies simply because they appear more worthwhile.

Are you enjoying it — or enjoying being seen doing it?

Here's a slightly uncomfortable question.

Sometimes we pursue activities because we genuinely love them.

And sometimes we enjoy what they say about us.

Perhaps we like being seen as sporty.

Adventurous.

Intellectual.

Successful.

Creative.

Sophisticated.

Or incredibly busy and important.

There's nothing inherently wrong with enjoying recognition.

But it can be interesting to ask:

Would I still want to do this if nobody else knew I was doing it?

Would you still run the marathon if you couldn't tell anybody?

Would you still want the expensive holiday if you couldn't post the photographs?

Would you still take up the hobby if nobody was impressed?

Sometimes the answer will be yes.

Wonderful.

But if the answer is no, perhaps the activity is meeting a different need — approval, status or belonging — rather than genuine enjoyment.

That's worth understanding too.

What gives you energy — and what drains it?

One useful way to identify what floats your boat is to notice how you feel before, during and after different activities.

Some things leave us feeling energised.

Others leave us feeling depleted.

And some activities can be tiring but deeply satisfying.

For example, you might finish a long walk feeling physically exhausted but mentally refreshed.

You might spend hours with friends and come home feeling uplifted.

You might work on a creative project and completely lose track of time.

Or you might attend a social event that looked wonderful on paper but leaves you feeling drained.

This doesn't mean we should avoid everything that requires effort.

Some of the most rewarding experiences involve challenge, discomfort or hard work.

But there's a difference between something that's demanding and satisfying and something that consistently leaves us feeling empty.

Try asking yourself:

What activities make me feel better about being alive?

It's a rather lovely question.

When pleasure becomes another obligation

Of course, there's a danger here too.

We can become so determined to create a fulfilling life that we turn enjoyment into another item on the to-do list.

Learn a language.

Take up painting.

Join a club.

What if your interests have changed?

This is particularly relevant in midlife and beyond.

The things that excited us at twenty may not be the things that excite us at fifty, sixty or seventy.

And that's not necessarily a loss.

It can be an opportunity.

Perhaps you've spent years focused on raising children.

Perhaps your career has dominated your life.

Perhaps you've been in a long relationship where many of your activities were shared.

Then circumstances change.

Children become more independent.

Work changes.

A relationship ends.

You retire.

You move somewhere new.

And suddenly, you're faced with a question you haven't asked yourself for years.

What do I want to do now?

That can feel unsettling.

But it can also be exciting.

You don't have to return to the person you used to be.

You can discover who you're becoming.

Sometimes a new chapter of life gives us permission to explore interests we never previously had the time, confidence or opportunity to pursue.

You don't have to do everything together

In relationships, it's lovely to share interests.

Perhaps you both enjoy travelling, walking, sport, cooking or going out with friends.

But you don't have to enjoy all the same things.

One person might love gardening.

The other might prefer golf.

One might enjoy a lively party.

The other might prefer a quiet evening.

One might be passionate about fitness.

The other might be happiest reading a book.

That's perfectly fine.

In fact, maintaining individual interests can contribute to a healthy sense of identity and independence.

The important thing is allowing each other the freedom to enjoy those interests, while also making room for shared experiences.

Being close to someone doesn't mean you have to become the same person.

And occasionally doing things separately gives you something interesting to talk about when you're together again.

What about the things you've always wanted to try?

Most of us have a mental list of things we've thought about doing.

Learning to play an instrument.

Joining a choir.

Trying pottery.

Taking up tennis.

Learning to dance.

Writing something.

Volunteering.

Travelling somewhere different.

Starting a small business.

Taking a course.

Or perhaps something completely unexpected.

And we often tell ourselves:

“I'll do that when I have more time.”

But what if more time doesn't simply appear?

What if we have to decide that something matters enough to make room for it?

Of course, money, health, caring responsibilities and other practical circumstances can limit what's possible.

Not everyone has the same freedom or resources.

But sometimes a small, accessible version of an interest is possible even when the grand plan isn't.

You might not be able to travel around Italy for three months.

But perhaps you could learn a little Italian.

You might not have the time or money for a major art course.

But perhaps you could start sketching again.

You might not be able to join a sports club.

But perhaps you could find a friend to play with occasionally.

You don't have to transform your life to introduce something enjoyable into it.

The Fusion Wellness Wheel connection

This subject sits particularly closely with Personal Growth & Fulfilment, but it can influence several areas of the Fusion Wellness Wheel.

Emotional Wellbeing

Enjoyable activities can provide pleasure, interest, relaxation and a welcome break from everyday pressures.

Relationships & Connection

Shared interests can help us build friendships, meet new people and strengthen existing relationships.

Movement & Strength

Finding physical activities we genuinely enjoy may make regular movement feel less like an obligation.

Work, Career & Purpose

Understanding our interests can help us reflect on whether our work feels meaningful or whether there are other directions we'd like to explore.

Lifestyle & Environment

Our routines, surroundings and commitments influence how much space we have for the things we enjoy.

Money & Security

Financial circumstances affect the choices available to us, but fulfilment doesn't always require expensive activities.

And importantly, enjoyment can have a positive ripple effect.

Someone who rediscovers a hobby might meet new friends.

Those friendships might improve their sense of belonging.

That connection might lift their mood.

And feeling happier and more engaged might make other parts of life feel easier to manage.

Sometimes a small change in how we spend our free time can influence far more than we expect.

A little exercise — discovering what floats your boat

Take a piece of paper and answer the following questions.

1. What do I love doing now?

Write down anything that gives you genuine pleasure or satisfaction.

Big or small.

Serious or silly.

Impressive or completely ordinary.

2. What did I love doing in the past?

Think back to childhood, teenage years and earlier adulthood.

Are there interests you've abandoned that you'd like to revisit?

3. When do I lose track of time?

What activities absorb your attention so completely that you stop watching the clock?

4. Who do I enjoy spending time with?

Which people bring out the happiest, most relaxed or most enthusiastic version of you?

5. What have I always wanted to try?

Don't worry about whether you're good at it.

Just notice what sparks your curiosity.

6. What am I doing because I think I should?

Are there activities you continue out of habit, obligation or because they fit an image of the person you think you ought to be?

7. What's getting in the way?

Time?

Money?

Confidence?

Energy?

Responsibilities?

Or perhaps the belief that enjoyment should come after everything else?

8. What's one thing I could make more room for?

Choose something realistic.

Not necessarily a huge new commitment.

Just one thing that would bring a little more pleasure, excitement or fulfilment into your life.

Some questions worth sitting with

If I had a completely free day, with no responsibilities, how would I choose to spend it?
What activities make me feel most like myself?
When was the last time I tried something new purely for enjoyment?
Have I stopped doing things I love because I'm too busy?
Do I allow myself to enjoy activities I'm not particularly good at?
Am I influenced by what other people think I should enjoy?
Do I have enough fun, excitement and spontaneity in my life?
What interests would I like to explore in this next stage of life?
Am I waiting for the perfect time to do something that matters to me?
If I could add one enjoyable thing to my life over the next month, what would it be?

The Fusion philosophy — a healthy life should also be a happy one

At Fusion Fit, I talk about movement, nutrition, sleep, habits, mindset and all the things that contribute to wellbeing.

But I don't believe the purpose of looking after ourselves is simply to become healthier, fitter or more productive.

Surely the bigger goal is to have a life we actually enjoy living?

A life with connection.

Interest.

Laughter.

Curiosity.

Meaning.

And things that make us excited to get out of bed.

Of course, nobody feels happy all the time.

Life has difficult periods.

Responsibilities don't disappear.

And sometimes we have very little choice about how we spend our days.

But that doesn't make enjoyment unimportant.

If anything, it makes those moments of pleasure and fulfilment worth paying attention to.

Looking after your wellbeing isn't only about removing the things that make life difficult. It's also about making room for the things that make life wonderful.

Something to take away

You don't need an extraordinary life to have a fulfilling one.

You don't need expensive hobbies.

You don't need to travel the world.

You don't need to be brilliant at anything.

And you don't need to turn every interest into an achievement.

Sometimes happiness is found in very ordinary things.

A good book.

A competitive game.

A walk somewhere beautiful.

A favourite song.

A creative project.

A conversation that goes on for hours.

A day spent doing something you love.

The important thing is knowing what those things are for you.

Because if you don't know what makes you happy, it's rather difficult to make room for it.

So perhaps it's worth asking yourself a question you haven't considered for a while.

What genuinely floats my boat?

And then, once you've worked that out, perhaps the next question is even more important.

What am I going to do about it?

Something to think about, don't you think?

FUSION FIT UK
MOVE WELL • EAT WELL • LIVE WELL